Ah Beng oh Ah Beng

 Just jokes...no offense to anyone

    Ah Beng  - NEW STUFF
    ************ ********
   
    Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
    He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
    'My Mobile No. Has changed.
    Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ======
    Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
    Friend: Really, what is he studying.
    Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ===
    Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
    DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
    Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ====
    Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
    Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
    Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ==
    Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
    Wife: How do you know??
    Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
    Oh GOD! U have come again.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ====
    Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
    except the TV in my house.'
    Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
    Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ==
    Ah Beng  comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
    He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ======
    How do you recognize Ah Beng  in School?
    He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========
    Once  Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
    So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
    announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
    Ah Beng  in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
    Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
    Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
    Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
    Ah Beng  - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
    Teacher: 'I killed a person' . Convert this sentence into future tense
    Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
    Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
    Servant: 'It's already raining.'
    Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
   
    ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
    A man asked Ah Beng  why  Najib goes walking in the Evening and not
    in the morning. Ah Beng replied  Najib is PM not AM

LAWAK TAK INGAT..

Banta goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses.

  

On his way home, Banta puts on his new x-ray glasses and, bingo! He sees everyone in the street naked. He takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on... Everyone is naked! "Cool!"

As he arrives back home, he is eager to show his new toy to his wife, Preeto, but can't find her. He goes up to the bedroom and finds his wife and one of his colleague, naked in bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still naked. He puts them back on, and they are still naked.

 

Banta  says, "Damn it, I just paid fifty bucks for it, aur  saala  kharab  bhi  ho gaya!!!! Made in China hoga.